Challenging Groups

Every group goes through challenges that rise and fall as they mature.

Quiet groups:

When a group consists mainly of quiet individuals, the first meeting may not be dynamic but challenging, as people often want to learn more about each other. To facilitate this, start with an icebreaker that offers multiple choices for sharing. For instance, you could ask, "What is your favorite food, sport, or hobby?" and allow them to choose one topic.

Discussion topics or questions should be simple yet engaging to encourage participation. It may be beneficial to delegate the task of writing discussion questions to someone willing and skilled at preparing them. A well-chosen topic and thoughtful questions can motivate attendees to contribute. Always aim to ask open-ended questions, as yes-or-no questions can discourage involvement by making people fear that their answers might be wrong. Instead, pose a question to the group and invite anyone to respond. After one or two people answer, encourage silent listeners to participate by saying something like, "John, I can see you listening attentively. We'd love to hear your thoughts whenever you feel ready. Do you have anything to share on this topic?"

Since some quiet participants may only speak up after a significant pause, pause occasionally to give them time to contribute. Additionally, some individuals may have insights they will only express if asked directly. If you notice someone not participating, approach them after the meeting or during a break and say, "Danny, I've noticed that you listen respectfully to others. I appreciate that, but I'd also love to hear your thoughts on whether you have something to share with the group." Once you discover they have insights to offer, remember to include them in the discussion at the earliest opportunity.

It's important to recognize that while some participants may share deep personal experiences, others may only touch on surface-level topics. This variation is normal, and it's essential to assure newcomers that they can share only as much as they feel comfortable.

Dominating groups: 

As intimacy builds within a group, some individuals may unintentionally dominate the conversation, leaving less time for others to share their thoughts. Even a quieter group can become dominated by one or two voices. If you observe someone monopolizing the discussion, contact them privately after the meeting or during a break. You might say, "Mark, I appreciate your enthusiasm and energy. I would love your help in encouraging others to participate more. Since our time is limited, let's aim to share less and allow space for others to contribute. Can we do that?"

When discussions become unproductive or overly heated, don't hesitate to step in and redirect the conversation. If you feel uncomfortable doing this alone, inform a co-leader beforehand so they can assist. You might interject by saying, "John, listen! This topic is getting too intense, and I'm concerned it's not constructive. Let's switch gears and discuss something else." After redirecting, you can invite others to chime in by asking, "Does anyone want to share their thoughts?" or by seeking input from one of the leaders present. Addressing these issues promptly can help ensure that everyone feels heard and valued within the group.

Chatty Leaders: 

Practice being a better listener rather than a talker. Many leaders are skilled talkers, so they may unintentionally dominate discussions. Ask your co-leaders to signal you when you are speaking for too long.

Please click on “Perseverance” to continue.